Research among minority Danish children of the second generation has shown that these children most often do not identify as Danes, but with their parents’ country of origin and pan-ethnic categories of ‘immigrants’ and ‘Muslims’. They often explain this by referring to strong held images of Danes as white, Christian and native. This paper looks at the same generation of children, when they have grown up and become parents. Based on a project exploring these minority Danish parents’ family histories, school experiences and parental strategies, it explores how many of them, contrary to the children, identify as Danish. To them being Danish refers to experiences of affinity, belonging and sharing what they portray as Danish values of freedom and child-centered upbringing. This identification is related to substantial experiences of otherness visiting their parents’ ‘homeland’ and to reflections about the upbringing of their children. Yet, their Danish identity seems precarious and continuously fought for and defended, as it is often met by ridicule and repudiating arguments about Danish nationality contingent on blood, skin colour and religion. The paper will illuminate the parents’ attempt to maintain a right to the Danish identity for them and their children in negotiations with three communities that each have their stance towards their identity and ‘cultural responsibility’ as parents; The transnational community (You have become Danish) the diaspora community (You pretend to be Danish) and the majority community (You should be Danish, You are not Danish). The paper will show how these experiences of contested identity and belonging have consequences for the way they bring up their children and help them navigate in school and in relation to the Danish majority and the transnational and diaspora community.